The Stress Question

"How do you handle high-stress situations?"

I love this question.

Stress and I have a love-hate relationship. Sometimes it takes hold of me quickly and without warning, sinking its talons into my neck and shoulders, twisting my muscles into an unyielding death-grip that requires hours of yoga to release. Other times it sits quietly in the pit of my stomach, radiating sensations of butterflies and nausea mixed into one. I see stress as a faithful though slightly annoying friend - one I can always count on to show up during the busiest and most difficult times in my life, who won't leave my side until I see it through to the end.

The best way I've learned to handle stress is to use as a motivator. It's the twinge in my back that encourages me to push on, to make progress, to finish what I need to complete. The times I am stressed are the times I am most productive and put out my very best work. It allows me to see clearly where I need to go, and the best way to get there from where I am.

I am a compulsive list-maker. I prioritize, make calendars of deadlines, and create a strategy or game-plan for the day. Nothing is as satisfying as crossing something off the list with a fat red Sharpie.

I time myself. How much can I get done in 45 minutes of straight work? My favorite competitions are ones in which I am playing against myself. Can I be more productive in this hour than I was in the last hour? It's a silly game, but it keeps me going.

High-stress situations are fun for me in that they present an opportunity to challenge myself and see how much I can accomplish. How well can I maintain my composure when everything is moving too fast? Can I see through the stress cloud to my final destination? Can I make it there better, faster, stronger than I have before? I use stress to drive me; I cultivate it like a caffeine-high that keeps me going and going and going until I finish what I set out to do. Then I reward myself with an awesome yoga session that banishes the death-grip from my shoulders and releases the remnants of my melted stress with each exhale.

The Network

It's a fabulous thing when the network you've spent so much time building and cultivating and maintaining sends something positive back your way. It really makes the effort worth it.

Don't get me wrong. I'm the kind of person who loves sending out holiday cards, or calls you just because you were on my mind and I wanted to say hi. I remember birthdays and important events and will always make an effort to do whatever I can for those I connect with. But it does feel great when those efforts are reciprocated with simply a gesture, a kind word of encouragement, guidance, or a promising opportunity for your future.

Thanks to everyone in my network who has been there for me and made an effort to further my career and success. I appreciate each and every one of you, and will gladly return the favor when the opportunity presents itself.

Happy Saturday :)

Lessons from Granddad - Finding My Strengths

My grandfather used to tell me that everyone has their own unique gift. Everyone had something that they did better than anyone else; a strength that set them apart from the pack. He said that it was the responsibility of every individual to find out what their strengths are, cultivate those skills, and use them to give back to society; to leave this world a better place than they found it. He believed in everyone that way... He taught me that if you work hard enough, you can move mountains.

He saw in me a potential for greatness: a sense of empathy unmatched by the understanding of others, a compassionate intuition. He saw my endless search for art and beauty in the world, my quest for truth and justice in all matters. He saw my determination, my sense of right and wrong, my desire to make others happy. From him I learned to look within myself and find these strengths, to use them everyday and change the world in what little way that only I can.

I pride myself on my ability to write with conviction and eloquence, whether it is for myself or for some profound purpose. I can adapt my style to what is appropriate; what, when you hear it, sounds right, even if it means agonizing for hours over whether to use 'an' or 'the'.

Questions, research, and failed attempts aside, if I start something, I know that I can finish it. I enjoy the stress of deadlines because it motivates me to be productive, to work quickly and challenge myself to accomplish something I may have doubted I would be able to do. I like to surprise myself.

Some people try to say that being a perfectionist is a weakness, but to me it means I know that I always give my very best and will not settle for anything less.

I'm not afraid to ask questions or admit when I am wrong. I think it shows that I am in it for the truth, not for the sake of my ego or my pride. I can be wrong a million times as long as I learn a million things from it.

My grandfather taught me so much about life, and finding what's important, and doing what you can to help others along the way. He taught me that life isn't easy, and it isn't always fair, but when you push back, you can accomplish things you never thought possible.

The last thing my granddad taught me was that I can do anything if I try hard enough. He showed me that I am stronger than I thought I was, and that no matter the circumstances that surround my life, the worries that plague my mind, the unbearable weight that life can force down on me, I am capable of anything that I set my mind to. He made me feel invincible, like I'm ready to take on the world.

So bring it on, World. I'm ready...

The Power of Positive Thinking

Through a life of many failed attempts, I've learned that no one is a harsher critic of myself than I am. It's so easy to focus on the mistakes, the things that didn't go according to plan, the disappointments and regrets. It's easy to look back and see where we went wrong. As they say, hindsight's 20/20 and if you're anything like me, it's hard not to fixate on the things we didn't see. The best thing I've learned from this is to look forward and avoid hitting the same bumps in the road in the future. You can look back on a life of mistakes and see a road map to success - a cheat-sheet of obstacles you'll inevitably encounter, and an entire manual of what not to do when you stumble upon them.

Of all the things I've learned in my life, there are a few that I keep permanently tattooed in the back of my mind as a constant reminder that I'm the one in control of my journey, detours and bumps in the road aside.

As Eleanor Roosevelt so wisely said, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." No one knows you better than you know yourself, and the opinions of others really have no meaning when it comes to how you define yourself. Be proud of who you are, imperfections and all, and you will never feel inferior.

The question "Would you rather be liked or feared?" is a trick question. On some level, everyone knows this. The answer just isn't one you would think to jump to when the question is posed this way. I think if anyone was given secret option #3, everyone would rather be respected. To be respected, however, you must earn the respect of others. I was taught that you teach people how to treat you. If you want to be respected, you must behave in a way that deserves respect. If you don't, then you teach people to treat you otherwise. Therefore, it's really up to you.

The battlefield of job-searching in the current economy is littered with failures, disappointments, rejection and regret. For a self-critical person like myself, it can be difficult to simply learn from the past and look forward. It's stressful. It's overwhelming. Damaging to the ego. Shitty. There's not a lot we can do to change the situation we've found ourselves in. Most of us didn't land here by choice. But we should never underestimate the power of positive thinking. It's a long road ahead, and we have to be prepared. Learn from mistakes from your past, know who you are and be confident in yourself, always earn the respect of those around you, and stay positive. The sun will come out tomorrow, right?

My Life "Project"

As a kid, people ask you "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

I never had a definite answer to that question. A ballerina, a firefighter, a doctor, a lawyer, a veterinarian. I changed my dreams more often than I changed my shoes. It didn't bother me, not knowing exactly which road I would take in life. I always figured I would end up doing whatever I was good at. The search to find my strengths was what I enjoyed: trying something new, challenging myself, finding out what I was capable of when I pushed myself hard enough, seeing what I could accomplish. Even when I failed, I cherished the experience: evaluating where I went wrong, what I could have done differently, what I had learned. A student of trial-and-error, I discovered things about myself and what I wanted from my life that I might not have learned otherwise. More than anything, I learned what kind of person I wanted to be..

A smart, independent and critical thinker. A team-player. Honest and hard-working. A problem-solver. Empathetic and encouraging. Passionate. A responsible, reliable individual. A fast, self-directed learner. Enthusiastic and easy-going. Always looking for ways to improve. Outgoing, fun. Confident, bright, and driven.

My life has been a project; an experiment in what I can accomplish by being myself. This blog is a chronicle of what I discover, an outlet for my ideas and opinions, an attempt to portray who I am now and what I hope to become in the future.